a new beginning for me? i dont know but i am surely gonna take it as it is. ive officially moved out of the bestfriends house & in to a new house with just my mother & three little sisters. i love them. my mother and i dont argue as much anymore, we brush each others rudeness off because we both dont want to hear it anymore. i think it got better when i cried to her when she told me about how shes fed up with her life & how our "family" treats each other. i am finally at a place where i think im gonna stay for awhile. for a " new" guy at xxi they give me great hours & i get paid pretty swell compared to people whos been there longer than i have. i also painted my room bed & got pictures up and a nice lamp. i feel like its personized to my needs of how dark & clean and sleek it needs to be for me. & as for raen, i just burned some of his stuff. i feel like this is gonna be one of the last times i will fall this fast, without more knowledge. why cant there just be someone out there who knows what theyre doing and if not react like a human and not a electronic device. i dont want to wait. im not getting younger. im getting older and it btohers me on how much ive accomplished way to much for it to be blown away. i am restarting, rethinkin, and most definaltey reconsidering my expectations. you pay & give time for things to be right. so i am not going to get comfrtable. and i will not stop to make this life successful and perfect. i dont think it of it as an ocd, but more of a expectation for life because without goals or a thrive who would we be? what humans would live without them anyways. im too bright to be stepping in puddles and to bright to be walking in the rain. i know now & forever on this knwledge will help me.
dear god, please help my coworker get a baby girl. she finds out today & bless wher will you. dont forget my mains the gc i love so much remind them that without a group this tight we wouldnt have the great oppertunities that we have to make something out of nothing, and bless my family and to keep their heads up, and help all my friends & their family for having cancer . remind them that they are not alone. & help me believe more in myself.
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Don't let this opportunity pass you. With everything coming to you as it is, it is a brand new wave of experiences that will help you put the past behind and help you with a fresh new start. This is God's way of showing you the new door. Hope everything works out! You are loved by many :)
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