i might be

intoxicated with your love.
indulged with your sweet slick words,
suffocated with your soul-y blood & reminders,
pressured with your kind careness,
your witty heart with the great smile,
your opened eyes to the map of your infinite,
but ...


i still stand here.. clueless, wondering, figuring why i am not taking the greatest option maybe its too quick because ive never day dream as much as i did for anyone else but you. maybe im a little to caught up in the clouds thinking this is too good to be true. i want, need, have to have you. just not now because for that will bring us down.

liars

if you think you can lie & get away with it, dont think we wont find out. in the matter of the time, it will unravel & tell itself. i love how people can get so close to you & live on with your days in front of your face not feeling guilty knowing the relationship is all based on lies & secrets. i understand personal secrets, but little stupid lies for a better story or for a better look. god put you positions to teach you & guide you to a better path. show you who you are through your choice of friends. i know now who i miss & adore, i will not be unappreciative with the ones who helped me to be better. god helps us.


-faith.

fly around in cirlces

im all in for change, im tired of repeating the past, i am most certainly flying in circles currently & i can rant about how much it bothers me but i wont. if anything i much rather talk about my family who are repeating the past, but i still wont. i want to talk about how i run like a plane. sounds odd but i think right now it is the best metaphor. for a plane to go you need gas, & to get gas you have to land. people need to understand the fact that when you fly up there just so much gas you have to keep flying. you have a destination & thats where it'll take you. but sooner or later you need to calm down & land, safely & sane, to reality & notice that you need to land. if you dont notice you need to land & rest you will run out of gas & crash. right???

love.

i do not ask nor do i beg for it. i stand all alone without love. if there was ever a day i do wish i was it was because i was intoxicated.

jnp stands alone.

let down.

everything i think of , everything i hope for, everyone i see up to, always end up letting me down in some big or small way. everything could be easy, everything could be happy, & everything we say & do could measure up to have a bigger impact. the thing that is sad is that no one thinks before they act. i am a leo so i automatically do. it is a process of how i act. i miss the old days where i didnt have to.