try

try to be nicer. try to be more respectful. try to show less emotions. try to just enjoy the sun now that it has came. ignore the rest and do you and be happy. ignore the people. ignore the pain. try to capture your mind again. don't fight you heart be with your heart.


I feel as if I am here sitting on the balcony and everything fades away and I am lifted to the sky and my head feels the easy breeze with my eyes being all chinky because its so nice and bright out. but its mearly my imagination. and at the end of the day I am brought back into what and where I am.

god help me.

love me.

I am more hating but also loving myself at the same time for the way I think react and just do things. after I do something I think about what I just did three times. and hate myself. I put a smile on my face because of my friends and I love that. I give off the impression of something I am not I hate that. I think the main issue about me is that I let people get in my head. but its just sometimess and I do really try to be better. I really do try to keep myself happy. & that's where it leades. should I be selfish and take off to cali and forever be happy and only worry for me? or do I stay here and fall apart and pick the pieces over and over again with the family? I have done so much already and still I get no respect I know I can't have everything I want but asking for real love from family isn't much. after all they need to be thoughtful about how much I have done for them. making all the convience for my family. that's why I am thinking of what I should do about where should lead myself now. new life or struggle some more.

accomplished.

i got out , & went crazy.  loved it.  I KNOW IM SUPPOSE TO BE LOOKING FOR A JOB, BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING & IF PEOPLE DONT CALL ME BACK THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO, KILL EM? i dont think so. after i get drunk, high, etc. i wake up early still & drop off applications & pick up other ones. if you know anyone who does that let me know because i need to be hanging out with them, cause they like me! ha. dont judge me bitch, i know what im doing. born & raised this way so dont look at me like i dont know what the fuck im doing. i hella do. & get that through your thick ass skull. you people have never walked in my shoes so stfu. you people should still be happy that im not always rude. i still got manners & i know how to act like a civilian when im suppose to. 

get me outta here

asap.

funny how

people like me better before,
people arent that expressive when they say they miss me,
people say so much shit,
people are afraid of me,
people think im a different person,

people are worthless. show me a person with a soul. for me to love. i dont love people i love souls.

world spins, round? noooooooo.

i dont think it even spins round its more of a square because i feel like there are always four points everyday, the morning, the afternoon, & the evening, & the late nights. i feel like the world is too slow to be round. haha. fuck i am kinda liking this mia, but i need a job!!!!!!!!!

getting back to the good life

after the tornado that hit my heart.. mind.. and soul.. I decided that I really don't need anyone there yet. because I am still bittersweet. what I need to do is keep myself happy with a job and if I do think someone has potential I got to keep my limits and not cross the line and lead them on to a bitter beginning relationship. I need to think ahead and get a job and just be happy with myself. I have all these signs. I am in the good life but im not living it. so what am I waiting for you ask?? " never rush things and it will come out beautifully with perfection" im giving it time so I can come to love where im at and live the good life hahah.

tears

I always find myself tearing and I always wonder if that is my allergies or is it cause I yawn or just simply because I never cry and I have little outbreaks of tears everyday. I really wouldn't know and I think I will never know which is the sad part because I don't understand myself . saddd. but I went hrough my old quotes and I thought they weren't bad. just thought I was a lot stronger than I am today. I means no wonder why I was so big headed. its becauase I was so strog and I knew how to keep my head up. so as of right now say fuck everything have fun and get my shit together and be strong once again. because nigga im jnp.

things are so different now

past;

Tina & i used to bike to pizza hut & just get bread sticks & get home before my parents do, & this is when i was in elementary school. i miss the old days. i miss all the stupid little meaningless things we do that was actually authentically fun. now our laughs have shorten & i got more crazy. tough tough.

golden garden

i am going to put my toes in the sand & just lay down close my eyes & just breathe. i need time for myself, & i need to see how precious my life really is, my best friend told me i sounded like im suicidal & so im going to realize all the great things in my life & make a list. because i know i am not haha. god, i need help.

pretty much

burn me, scratch me, drown me, but i will save myself.

been high

im not giving up,im just taking things to make me happier to go on haha, im so high high high.


god forgive me.

sin;gluttony

i have failed to keep myself in a average shape. time to get back on track with everything.

im going to say goodbye to the 7 deadly sins.

i can sing this over & over

ive made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
if I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
i know this is love but,

If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If i'm in love with you,

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Wait then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere