i really need to drink less

haha i know i say that allll the time but i really do mean it this time. i woke up & i feel like i dont know what the fuck happened last night, crazy. ewy. i miss the days where i would so productive. i am NOT AT ALL anymore. okay maybe i am but not as much as i was before. i am begging to really thinking of moving back to my moms to have a quiet  little life. but we all know that cant happen, everywhere i go its horrible news. jeez. i wish i can be someone whos not as outgoing as me just for a day. so i can have peace and quiet. i miss the days when i was younger & didnt party so much, i had time to think all the time & i didnt blog like this, haha stupid blog diary. you make me feel crazy. i really DONT LIKE HATERS. why cant we all become friends or at least have a mutual line, shiet. i woke up to have two damn hickies. wtf is that shit. no more smoking & drinking. last time i did that i pulled my ex in the bathroom & told her i miss her. sadly its the truth. i hate love. i hate dating. i am in NO POSITION to date. esp. since its summer... uhh thats like suicide to fall in the summer, i mean there is someone im looking at, shes actually makes me smile alot. & thats a good deal. i dont smile enough apprently . her name starts with a C and ends with a N haha & she looks flip and laos, whoo! i was wrong shes not. my friend got played & tonight he wants to go to alki and chill. that sounds really good because i havnt done that in a long time. last time i did that was with ryan. i really miss ryan, him & my father is coming home soon though so im really just looking foward to that, oh! my grandpa moved to federal way!! he came all the way from florida, orlando to be with his family. haha makes me teary. awhh. ahaha i have such a big ass family. its going tos uck real bad when i move to cali ..  T.T