family and friends

we are all fucking up. when I wake up at five in the morning to calm you down tryna at least and when ii burst into tears that's when you know we are all fucking up god please help us.

disrespectful.

nobody doesn't know how to respect others especially when it is a gathering. for birthdays. its just nonsense how people are these days everyone has a past so let it be and if someone is mad at you let it be until the next day or when they are sober when both or the group can function. I am fed up with little people who don't know how to act their own age. and if you are done then you are done just let it be.

keep it moving.

even if all the doors close on you and the world won't let you do anything in the meantime .... don't cry. I mean at first it might be a shock but we can't all be emo now can we. I know it gets tiring of just keep trying and trying but we just have to hold it in there because the day will come for us to finally have success. there is always a door in the hallway that is locked you just have to find it. remember not to take too much time on one thing because you might forget something more vauable or important. bloggers just don't give up because you know we all depend on each others and if we all givr up what do we make ourselfs then? greater is always better than nothing.

pervert.

beat this.

do you know?

do you know that life doesnt get better? its reality it just dont, we always look abck & said its the better days but if you really think about it its because your still working on it, because when your there thats when you say im living the good life, i swear when i was younger things were so much easier but now living on my own doing my own shit , i know it may not seem liek it but i am always scared i am scared that i dont know what to do, its horrible. i always ask for gods guidence and he always sends me my amazing friends if it wasnt for my amazing friends i think i would be on the park somewhere looking like a bum no lie, people look at me & say oh he has it easy oh he lives a good life everyone loves him. but NO thats not even the start of it. im hoping thats going to be my end of happiness. & vannaray khoy, i pray for her everyday. i love her so much.

>>viewers advised <<

fuck you, if you feel offended by that in anyway then you are probably one of the people i really mean it to. first of all i HATE people who supposedly are suppose to be close to you & are suppose to be CLOSE but arent. hahah your hilarious. YOU KNOW when shit goes down you always expect me to be there right on the dot when i never ask anything from you! at all! & you just act all shady to me thats perfectly fine with me. & if you think we are losing each others maybe we are. remember i go by the quote ," friends tell people alot about you" ? & i dont want to be around you if you act like that, you've changed & its sad. because it was not for the better. OH & i also hate people who expect me to stay the same. change is always happening. & just because i am growing up & dont feel like going out & being the center of the party anymore, then i just fucking dont. let that be. i need to get my shit together & if you dont like it fuck you & you need some growing up to do. i much rather stay home with my brother & drink while watching tv. you know casual stuff. & alot of people have been noticing me sad, im not sad i just feel like i need to calm it down for myself a couple notches i mean i do have to get my shit correct right now. 

not anymore

i told myself i will escape the summer's end. but it caught up to me. its like god said i couldnt leave seattle & i have to deal with my shit now. its funny because he did that by letting someone steal my wallet! aha i had to get a copy of my birth certificate, made a new id, & finally finished faxing my papers for school, so im good. i NOW know that summer is over & my life is going to be miserable. haha.i am sadly single & still keep dreaming about lies. but hey a nigga can day dream. im just goign to take my time & sooner or later i will find someone who i can deal with & that will give me as much as i give them. did i tell the world that i am moving to cali? lmao i know right all the damn time, but after im done with my classes the first thing i am doing is getting a condo in sf or la. im done & want a new life. i love this life i love being so street smart in seattle, btu its time to make me grow that rep. in cali. love me now because i wont be here later. i will be here later later, haha does that makes sense?