rain will go away

this past month have learned so much about myself more than throughout my whole life. & all because of you. i learned that ive never fallen as hard as i did for you, & ive learn that with this power you have of me, YOU could kill me in a heart beat. I CANT STAND BEING WITHOUT YOU. you think you miss me more? & you think you have more fatal feelings than me? baby you have no idea. your in vegas ding only god knows & ive been injecting myself with all sorts of drugs because i hate waking up without your face here, i have gone to the place where i didnt want to be when we first started this. NOW you are going to end up leaving me & i can do nothing about it which really sucks because you could easy move on without me there, and i will be the one stuck on you with all these drugs in my system because your not here to stop me. i miss you. and i hate you.

maybe not.

were not meant to be, its really hard with you breathing down my neck not only the fact that you always try to manipulate me constantly, it bothers me. you always try to make me look bad but your the one tempting me to say something or anything, i think our perfect philosophy is that you act more like a dog & i act more like a cat. your aggressive, obnoxious, & consistent. as for me i am more gentle, quiet, mannered, & i come & go as i please, & i cant have someone to tell me no. it really sucks because i like you so much & tried so hard already. its not that im staying with you because ive already put so much into it but its just that fact that i dont want to give up on what we have, had or wherever it is now. i feel high almost all the time around you now, & when im not it feels right to be high because i have an excuse to feel the way i do. its foolish, more than that i am acting foolish. when it comes to you i cant explain anything, my words fumble & i stutter. all my knowledge goes out the door when it comes to you, i dont know what to do. when i should. when i should know exactly what to do. my weakness when it comes to you is that i let EVERYTHING slide. i cant argue with you because when i look at you i smile. but you should know that, that power you have of me is slowly going away. you dont give me alot of good reasons to stay happy. & I AM NOT A PEICE OF MEAT. you always give off that impression. it bothers me. another thing .. is that you say one thing but your actions beg to differ. please tell me what to do ):

more cars.

if raen dont buy these. i will lol.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1541912293.html - acura tl

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1541861037.html - honda prelude

http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/ctd/1534035967.html - bmw 323i

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1534201519.html - bmw 328i

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/1534669509.html - bmw 323ci

http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/cto/1540461316.html - bmw 328ci

http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/1540502229.html - bmw 528i

http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/ctd/1539548481.html - jaguar type s 3.0

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1540357542.html - acura rsx

http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/cto/1540596708.html - acura cl

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1540830023.html - acura tl navi

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1535623689.html - lexus is300

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1540186532.html - porsche boxster

i havnt felt.

sucks to feel like this. i think i think too much. i think i doubt too much. i dont want to doubt anyone but i always would love to think that its going to last. but knowing that they are going to leave or that they are going to be away. or knowing there could be possiblities. it sucks. ive never liked anyone as much as i did now. its not that i dont want to be with you because surely its more than i want i know its going to happen that were bound to be going out. its the fact that i know your gonna leave and whats going to happen to me? i cant just stand here thinkin that its going to be okay to fall so hard like i am and just let it go like its nothing. it goes both ways you know. you want all of me & i want all of you but we know that wont happen. your moving. how am i going to set my legos down & you move the holding sheet away from me. i dont want to crumble down. but i do know i want you to be around, & i do know i am foolish. but your more & everything i want & need physically, mentally, & emotionally. i know this is going to be the biggest cut because already jsut sit here tearing up for you. when everything is perfectly fine.

for raen

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/1538760906.html
http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/ctd/1539414279.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/1538878573.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/ctd/1538989131.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1538974972.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/est/cto/1532859112.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1538111852.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1537979543.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1533633867.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/sno/ctd/1539385287.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1530534976.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1538705902.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1537921638.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1534313502.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1532149971.html

>>>>http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cto/1539621156.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/cto/1536056531.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1533974328.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/skc/ctd/1538962009.html

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/1537989069.html

reminder chiro

9422 delrigde way sw seattle wa 98106

number: 206 768 8214

cell: 206 501 7436

tacoma clinic number

253 475 6744

NOW > later

i finally understand how im suppose to be, i finally understand how im suppose to act.

we all understand with age. & with the age we think back at how we were, how naive we were. & how we always thought about why would older people act the way they do, & why do they talk the way they do, & why they do the things they do, why they keep falling in relationships when its clearly not going to work out, & clearly i figured out my little questions. its because when we were young we cared so much in all the things that later on in life didnt matter.

---BREAK!----

reminder---- chiro asap. here you go jhon before you break your back going to sleep.

675 s lane st suite 300 seattle wa 98104

try - melissa polinar

this is exactly how i feel. sad.

i hope

i really do need help with this situation. i really hope that this is not all faulty. i really do wish i could be satisfied & not mess this relationship.

hello 2010.

2009 taught me to never look back, & keep moving foward. appreciate every little thing, and live your days like theres no tomorrow. & keep your bestfriends close, & leave your enemies alone. rather give them nothing to talk about at all then some more. DONT believe in forgiveness because it will happen again, dont forgive them, but help them to not repeat the past. & dont think family will take you far.

oh, i ended my year liking, & now im falling.

im so scared i hate it.